Atlanta
Writers Group
Feature Article – February
2007
Balancing the Scales: Five
Keys to Being Balanced and Making Good Decisions
By Isha Edwards
As diversity is embraced
and a self-governing society presides, schools of thought that once provided
balance between right and wrong give way to subjective overtones. Consequently,
shades of gray now envelope a culture where rules were previously defined in
black and white. For many, the inability to achieve balance in gray areas has
become the source of fear, stress, ongoing conflict with the mind, will,
emotions and a failure to maintain set standards.
Is
this you?
- I am a people-pleaser
- I spend more than I can afford
- I say yes, when I really mean no
- I make promises that I cannot keep I
compromise my values when pressured I fear people, failure, being alone or not
having enough
- I provide subjective advice to avoid
estrangements with friends
- I succumb to the desire to be accepted/well
liked instead of revered among subordinates or by leaders
Friends, family, coworkers, the media and
other influences are catalysts for imbalance. Messages that incite action now
instead of later; for worse instead of better; for self-gratification instead
of as a service to others are broadcasted through a myriad of outlets. Opportunities to remain balanced are
especially tasking during the holidays. Instead of being practical,
unreasonable financial commitments are made in the name of tradition. The
pressure to conform to Christmas gift giving, for example, is fueled by how
well retailers convince consumers to spend; resulting in the commercialization
of a sacred celebration.
Not convinced? Consider Hallmarks’ subtle
yet effective dictation of when to buy holiday cards. Thanks to greeting card
companies and related services, Christmas preparation now happens right after
the nemesis “holiday” Halloween. Other examples? Black
Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) “sales” used to draw customers into stores
to spend--in record numbers--well beyond the average person’s ability to repay;
Sony’s calculated nationwide distribution of 400,000 PS3s before
Thanksgiving. These units were priced
from $500 to $600. A captive gaming
audience camped out over night to secure the upgraded console. Some jumped lines while others fought. A
final example is the increase of direct mail solicitations from nonprofit
organizations to support a cause their target audience knows little to nothing
about.
Being balanced entails having mental
control or emotional stability. It is a habit of being calm in behavior and
judgment, etc. and the ability to be fair and practical in the midst of
conflict. In circles large and small, comparisons are made and agreement is
established based on existing norms. Rather than remaining grounded on an
issue, most concede or totter between extremes. How can balance be found in the
midst of so many independent and sometimes conflicting opinions?
Five
Keys to Being Balanced & Making Good Decisions
Be
Objective Initially: Objectivity is essential to being balanced because
it serves as a buffer until understanding is gained. Take time to gather facts
and evaluate information before making a decision. While objectivity is
necessary, it should not be
measured by individual or collective expectations, values, and certainly not
society’s norms.
Pray: If
you are a person of faith, seek God’s direction. Despite opposition and the
odds, wisdom gained through prayer will enable you to excel.
Seek Counsel: Read books,
articles and talk to people with related experiences. Diversity is good because a broad perspective
shapes your ability to make decisions. However, being diverse culturally or
otherwise should be a means for increasing knowledge base for informed decision-making--not
a rule for conforming.
Set-Boundaries: Advise
people of your limits, expectations, and standards upfront. This includes
holiday celebrations, special events or activities. Ideal times to set
boundaries are at the beginning of the year, when you start a new position, at
the beginning of a relationship, before a meeting or other activity commences.
Knowing your standards upfront will help avert conflicts and temper
expectations.
Be
Consistent: It is one thing to set a standard and another to
set a standard you abide by only when convenient. Being balanced is not a task
for the weary. It requires reinforcement, ongoing research, and a habit of
doing the same thing often. Today’s habit is tomorrow’s expectation. What you
expect from yourself is what
people will expect of you.
My all-time favorite proverb reads: Have
two goals: wisdom--that is, knowing and doing right--and common sense. Wisdom
is the result of right information coupled with right use and corresponding
action. The way to obtain wisdom is to read about it, talk about it and/or hear
it taught. Since common sense is relative to experience, what may be common to
one person may not be common to another person. In order to maintain balance,
common knowledge: every thought, action, feeling, problem, decision, desire and
goal should be weighed accordingly.
Isha
Edwards is a freelance writer who resides in